Introduction:

 

By race, the Pukhtoon link themselves to the missing tribe of Moses, living across the international border in Pakistan and Afghanistan. The Pukhtoon speak the Pukhto (pustho) language, while Pukhtoon-wale is the verbal, complete code of life from thousands of years back.  The Pukhtoon of Pakistan and Afghanistan are divided into many sub groups, Tribes, clans and sub-clans. They have common custom and traditions respected by all individuals and tribes of the Pukhtoon community. Each and every tribe, clan is socially organized and led by a Khan, malik, or tribal chief. The tribes live with each other under the traditional system of Pukhtoon-wale and also fight with each other under any violation of the same law. The balance is also preserved as per the super powers model political system, balance of power and balance of terror.

 

Pukhtoon children through general practice in Hujra learn all such ethics and traditions. In contrast to the other nations of the world, Pukhtoon children are getting education in three disciplines, i.e. Mosque, school and Hujra. Hujra is the community center for each clan owned by the whole community. Jirga is the elders’ council of each clan for community-based problem solution. Jirga and Hujra are interlinked to each other’s and have a prominent role in following every day life, under the prevailing Pukhtoon-wale system. Wherever there is no Jirga or the group does not select the leaders each individual pretends to be a leader and plays an individual leader role.

 

Alexander the great conquered the whole world, but when reached to the Pukhtoon area, he faced strong resistance in the northern part of Pakistan, close to the border of China. His family, known as “kalash” are still residing there. His mother was living in Afghanistan.  She sent him a message and enquired about the reason for his failure to the resistance, being so much powerful. In response Alexander send a group of twenty tribal chieves, to talk to his mother. After formal hospitality and discussion the mother asked the Pukhtoon delegation who the group leader was and to whom she should talk. One of the members of the Jirga stood up and asked her to ask any question, but stop by the other person next to him and ask the same question. At last, one by one, each one stood up and asked the previous one to sit, saying, “Let me talk to her.” At the end the Lady thanked them all, and sent a message to her son Alexander, that “To lead the nation and be a leader is the most difficult job but if each individual of the community consider himself as a leader, then to defeat such nation is very difficult.  Better do bargain and cross their territory.” He did the same.

 

 

Pukhtoon Identity: 

The Pukhtoon will always-introduced him/herself, as “I” Pukhtoon. They clam that we are the Martial race, who rule others but are not ruled by any one. To any outsider there is always one claim “WE”, the Pukhtoon, however powerful the power may be. Examples are the two Afghan wars, with the British Empire and the recent Russian invasion of Afghanistan.

Race and pure blood are very near and dear to them. There are culture hierarchies: they claim only people of pure Pukhtoon blood.  Those other professionals who are scheduled caste, who are also pustho speaking people, are not given the social status and privileges in their structure. Such scheduled caste people outside the Pukhtoon geographical area claim the same Pukhtoon identity and feel honor to be Pukhtoon. To achieve such status he must leave the place of origin and migrate to another non-Pukhtoon area where he may start new life with pure Pukhtoon identity.

It is not only on the grass root level, even in the high profile people, the “I” identity plays important role.  Once the son of the great Pukhtoon nonviolent leader Ghaffer Khan introduced himself in the national assembly saying, “from the last fourteen thousand years I am Pukhtoon, from fourteen hundred years I am Muslim and for forty five years I am Pakistani.” Abdul Gaffer Khan also raised and addressed this Pukhtoon identity issues on a different occasion.  One of his quotation is, “O Pukhtoon! Your house has fallen into ruin. Arise and rebuild it-and remember to what race you belong”. On another occasion he said, “Is not the Pukhtoon amenable to love and reason? He will go with you to hell if you can win his heart, but you cannot force him even to go to heaven. Such is the power of love over the Pukhtoon”.¹  In the Pukhtoon poetry the “I” identity is given preference and highlighted on different occasion.  One famous Pukhtoon scholar, philosopher, and poet Ghani Khan has mentioned in his poem,

 

                                    If I a slave lie buried in a grave,

                                    Under a dazzling tombstone,

                                    Respect it not; spit on it!

                                    O mother, with what face will you wail for me

  If I am not torn to pieces by British guns?

                                    Either I turn this wretched land of mine

                                    Into a Garden of Eden

                                    Or I wipe out the lanes and homes of Pukhtoon! 2

 

Interaction:

 

Interaction in the daily life is on a different level in the Pukhtoon community.  Between the tribes the usual war and peace matters are being dealt with “them” and “us” relationship. Within the Jirga of a clan and sub-clan the matters are address through: WE: identity, but inside the Jirga the usual routine dynamics are handled through “YOU” and “I” identity. The tribal chief will always point to “MY” tribe. Here he claims that “I” am here that’s why “THEY” are.

 

Within the family, the “I” factor is again very visible. In their introduction to a stranger the people will also mentioned the name of a famous individual, and in one way or another will link him/herself to him. In pushto proverbs, the powerful individual’s wife is the sister-in-law of all tribes. The father will always get honor for the wealth and property preserved through inheritance or bought by him for the rest of the family. A brother of strong financial, professional or social status within the family, while helping others within or outside the family, claims the “I” identity. If the brother does not claim or refer to “I”, his wife always taunts the wife of the brother who was helped by taking the credit for her husband’s help to them. Such practices are inherited by the children and lead to conflict and enmity between the first cousins on inheritance matters or any other minor identity issue. There is a pushto proverb that, “The Pukhtoon need enmity: if not an outsider then the first cousin is the first enemy”.

 

An outside threat make them unite to “WE” identity but in the absence of outside threat the, “I” identity plays a major role. Even in the outside enmities, one person among the family took the lead in taking revenge. In the case of any family member’s, disgrace, murder etc. This one claims to be the one who restored the family honor and gets the “I” identity, while the rest of the family member follow him as “WE”. On the other hand an individual “I” will be supported for any good and bad as he is from the “WE”. The opposite side will try to take revenge, but will not harm or kill the offender, instead they will go for the financially, socially or professionally strong one in order to handicap the tribe from the one “I” and leave them to you  “WE” only. There is another common saying in Pukhto that, 1 (one) has its own value but if we add zero on its right side the value increase from one to ten, hundred, thousand and so on.  If you delete 1 (one), there will be zeros, and zero plus zero is equal to zero. In the case of family or tribal conflict the word “I” is very common.  People claim that “I” did it for the sake of my family or tribe. If “I” was not doing this then not only me, but, also  “WE” were all not safe from them. An individual in the tribal system will always look and care for the honor and prestige of the tribe. Any act against the individual will be an act of shame and humiliation for the whole tribe. People will first blame the parents and then the tribe. And such black scar will be on the forehead of the tribe for generations.

 

Guilt and Shame: Guilt is an invisible feeling of an individual for an act, which he thinks, was not appropriate, as there is no general concept of good and bad things. The act, which gives you internal satisfaction, is good, and if you feel sad it is bad. The guilt feeling is expressed in excuses or apologetically behavior. This is easy and possible in the low context culture, but in the high context culture, due to the shame factor, such expressions become very difficult. Such is the case in Pukhtoon culture where guilt cannot be expressed and “sorry” can’t be conveyed to the victim for any wrongdoing. To do so is against the culture, traditional norms and values will degrade a person in front of his own tribe. Any act of an “I” will unite the tribe “WE” to follow the one who did it. Such practice encourages the individual and leads him toward more human violation in the future. Also in Islam the internal soul needs nourishment.  The good deeds one commits help it prosper, but in case of wrong doing a back scar appears on the heart, affects the soul, and this scar expands with any other act of wrongdoing.  With the passage of time, an individual, after committing many crimes, lacks the guilt factor.

 

In contrast to the internal guilt feeling shame is an external feeling of an individual or group. This is very common in high context cultures and especially in Pukhtoon areas. What other will say or think, sticks in the mind of every Pukhtoon male/female wherever he/she goes. People makes their lives miserable only to make other happy and not to feel shame in the society. It is also interesting to mention that in the western culture shame is usually for the offender who commits any crime.  But in the Pukhtoon culture shame is for the victims. It can be equalized through revenge. Even though there is strong religious belief that God will punish the wrongdoer here and hereafter, still they go for revenge and pretend to be going ahead of God’s decision. A victim of rape, kidnapping or murder all takes with them the shame for their whole life until and unless it is equalized by revenge. It is also interesting that the shame factor goes with the family and tribe for generation. People keep themselves away from the shamed person in social relationships. A victim in such a case is either marginalized by the family members or makes it the matter of prestige and honor for the whole tribe. Among the “YOU” tribe any individual or tribal chief “I” may come forward to take the revenge for the victim.  In such a case “I” not only acts for him, he will always feel proud to bring the honor back for family, tribe “YOU”.  Revenge taken by an individual “I” for the sake of family and tribe “YOU” not only gets respect in his own circle but also in other tribes to whom they interact.

 

The shame feeling closed the door for the guilt feelings of excuse or being sorry on the part of the offender. It is also very famous that in Pukhtoon dictionary there is no word for “sorry”. Once someone does something wrong, both offender and victim will suffer for generations until and unless it is equalized. In the case of the victim the guilt will accompany the individual and tribe also for generations. This circle from guilt to shame will continue for a long time until and unless the elders of the same tradition intervene and deal with it by traditional law. The western or country law will punish the individual but will never resolve the enmities.

 

The role of “I” in bringing peace; If “I” plays negative role it also plays a positive role in the case of solving family dispute and peace building. In case of two families, two individuals or two tribes “I” comes in the middle and take all power of decision-making from both sides. That is called (waq) Power of decision-making. Then the person in the “I” role acts on behalf of both parties and gives his decision according to the prevailing custom and tradition of Pukhtoon code of life. A respected elder of the community jumps into the middle through parachute diplomacy and then starts shuttle diplomacy to bring the parties to negotiation. He will listen to the parties and will arbitrate according to the custom and tradition. His decision will not only be acceptable to the parties but also the Government will give due respect and honor to the decision. Here “I” plays an important role of trust as people trust on an individual “I” when they give him the power for any decision, and he “I” not only respects the parties’ trust and the tribal traditions but also seeks the wisdom and guidance of God.

 

 

Conclusion: