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Abstract
A human being is born innocent, with only its human identity. Experiences with one’s family, community and society make one person different from another. There are both good and bad responses to the inner or outer actions and reactions that affect the heart and mind of an individual.
 
A person’s mind can develop prejudices, biases and hatred against others for a variety of reasons. A person with these prejudices and biases needs to change both their heart and mind. Such change comes as a result of both formal and informal education and from taking practical actions. We must realize that we all live in a diverse world with many different identities, faiths, ethnicities, languages, ideologies and so on. All such identities lead us to have a positive or negative perspective against or in favor of a specific individual or group. The positive perspectives are good. The negative perspectives, however, need a transformation of a person’s heart and mind in order to communicate with another in a cordial manner and to give space and develop connectivity between people.

Introduction
I am not a scholar, doctor, sociologist or psychologist. The paper I am going to present is based on my 25 years of experience with different groups in the field of social work, peace building, conflict transformation and an informal justice system.

I personally have seen many people change their life patterns due to an incident or accident, through education or religious or traditional teaching or preaching. The change that comes can be negative or positive. A person who is experiencing shame, anger, strong ego identity, taunting or thoughts of revenge, usually has a negative reaction. While on other hand, by following a positive role model and through preaching and teaching of empathetic or sympathetic approaches, the person can have a positive reaction. A positive reaction gives them more strength and internal energy to positively move forward in their lives.  On the other hand, a negative reaction can lead to a dangerous end. In the negative reaction, when a person does not learn from his bad acts, he will ultimately face its consequences. It is also interesting that many people’s life patterns totally change in the last stages of their lives and not for the above-mentioned reasons. It may be the threat of death, less care for those who were so loved and cared for previously by them or going through many good and bad experiences. There may be many reasons but above all it is due to the loss of strength, health and wealth that happens in the last stage of life.

Human life
Human beings from birth to death play many roles. These roles are developed due to the influence of external factors and internal decisions that the person makes. In faith-based communities and religious societies, people link good and bad to fate, the guidance of God or the misguidance of Satan and even to the soul. But what about those who don’t believe in religion and do not have a faith-based approach?.

Human nature itself has caused many of the problems humanity faces today. For example, the two world wars have long since ended but still continue to cause pain and suffering today. Human beings can end or find a way out of such problems but they must start with the Self. First we must bring about a change within ourselves before we can begin the gigantic task of bringing peace to this world.

The world leaders present themselves as role models for others to follow. As Mohandas Gandhi said, “We must realize there are always
possibilities and opportunities for peace and recognize and quench
our own violent hearts. Start with yourself and then look into the eyes of your brother, your father, your sister, your mother. Look into your own heart and see where peace will begin. Transform ourselves - cultivate compassion in our communities and we will see that the world will change!”

In the Arabic language, the heart is considered the center of intelligence and affection. Human beings have also been given with the quality of conscience i.e. the ability to make distinctions between right and wrong in regards to one's own conduct (91:8) and are provided the necessary guidance (76:3).

The earth will become a place truly worth living in when, following their normal pursuits, people do not become unmindful of keeping their souls in control.

Similarly, inner jihad is man’s internal struggle against the evil within, which can only be achieved if we unite the forces of good to fight against the forces of evil. The Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) in the following Hadith [saying of the Holy Prophet (PBUH)], explains the concept of inner jihad:

“During the return march from the victories of Makkah and Hunayan, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to some of his companions ‘We have returned from the lesser holy war to the greater holy War’. And when one of them asked, ‘What is the greater holy war?’ He replied, ‘It is the war against the soul (Nafs)’.”

Mulana Rumi also mentioned the above saying of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) in one of his eloquent poems:

When I turned back from the outer battle,
I set my face towards the inner battle:
We have returned from the lesser Jihad;
We are with the prophet in the greater Jihad.
                                                Mathnavi-e-Maanvi, 1:1386

Another world scholar, St. Francis de Sales, also focused on inner peace. “Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” According to the Buddha’s preaching, “Peace comes from within, do not seek it without.”

Inner control and being at peace brings peace first to one body and then to the family, community and country. Healing yourself will help to heal the world and changing yourself will help to change the world.

According to Einstein, "Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding." Morihei Ueshiba explains inner peace by saying, “ The art of peace begins with you. Work on yourself and your appointed task in the art of peace. Everyone has a spirit that can be refined, a body that can be trained in some manner, a suitable path to follow. …Foster peace in your own life and then apply the art to all that you encounter.”

Before going further we should highlight some of the internal factors that influence a human being under particular circumstances.

Guilt
Guilt is an individual’s invisible feeling about an act, which she or he thinks was not appropriate.   There is no universal concept of good and bad. The act that gives you internal satisfaction is good, and if you feel sad it is bad. The guilt feeling is expressed in excuses or apologetic behavior. This is easy and possible in the low context culture, but in the high context culture, due to the shame factor, such expressions become very difficult. In Islam the internal soul needs nourishment.  The good deeds one commits help the soul prosper. But in case of wrong doings a black scar appears on the heart, affects the soul, and this scar expands with any other act of wrongdoing.  With the passage of time, an individual, after committing many crimes, lacks the guilt factor.

Shame
In contrast to the internal feeling of guilt, shame is an external feeling of an individual or group. This is very common in a high context society. What others say or think stays in the mind of every male or female wherever he/she goes. People make their lives miserable so they can make others happy and to not experience the feeling of shame in their society. It is also interesting to mention that in Western culture, shame is usually experienced by the offender who commits the crime.  But in the high context culture, shame is felt by the victims. It can be equalized through revenge. Even though there is a strong religious belief that God will punish the wrongdoer in the hereafter, people still decide to take revenge and they try to precede God’s decision. A victim of rape, kidnapping or murder comes away from the incident with feelings of shame for the rest of their lives unless the shame of the event is equalized by revenge. It is also interesting that the shame factor goes with the family and tribe for the following generations in traditional societies. People keep themselves away from the shamed person in social relationships. A victim in such a case is either marginalized by family members or becomes the object of prestige and honor for the whole tribe in the event of revenge.

Sadness
Another common reaction is sadness and a sense of feeling “down” or depressed. You may have feelings of hopelessness and despair; frequent crying spells; sometimes even thoughts of hurting yourself and suicide. You may also experience a loss of interest in the people and activities that you once found pleasurable, as well as the feeling that life is not worth living and that plans you made for the future do not seem important any longer.

Right and wrong
Assessing something as right or wrong is always a human judgment that has to do with appearances not reality. This means that I think I am right, I must win and if I win I must be right. You on the other hand are clearly wrong if you lose and you lose because you are clearly wrong. One must presume that everyone thinks he or she is right but his or her approaches are different so no one is considered wrong.

Fear & denial
 The more we run from a conflict, the more it masters us. The more we try to avoid it, the more it controls us. The less we fear conflict, the less it confuses us. The less we deny our differences, the less they divide us.

Anger
Anger is the assertion of an “ought,” the expression of a demand, the exercise of forcefulness, and the threat of retaliation.

Anger is the emotion that can trigger an act of aggression. Anger is the feeling of extreme displeasure or hostility to someone or something. I see anger as extreme fear and/or frustration, violently projected outward. Anger is what temporarily isolates us from the facts, from ourselves and from others.

I am always angry at myself for being afraid of circumstances and therefore feeling out of control. This has nothing to do with the person or thing towards whom or which I level my anger. I feel internal disharmony, a fear of circumstances in which I feel a loss of control, and I am angry about feeling afraid of the circumstances. I, therefore, use my anger as a means of not having to deal with certain circumstances. It is said that anger is the enemy of reason. “Anger punishes itself.” (a Chinese proverb)

Anger Defined by the Islamic scholar

The classical scholar, al-Manâwî, was satisfied to define anger as: “a psychological state that is unconsciously comprehended.”
Al-Qurtubî defines anger as follows: “Linguistically, it means severity.
An angry man is one whose manner is severe.” [Tafsîr al-Qurtubî (1/150)]
Anger has also been defined as: “A change that takes place in conjunction with an increase in blood pressure to bring about a revengeful disposition in the breast.” [al-Ta`rifât, another classical scholar, suggested the definition of anger as: “a desire to visit injury upon the object of one’s anger.”

Causes of Anger in Islam
Some common causes of anger are

1. Self-satisfaction: A person might be too well pleased with his own opinion or too proud of his status, wealth, or lineage. This can bring about feelings of enmity towards others if the person’s religious consciousness is deficient.
This is because self- satisfaction leads to arrogance and ostentation.

Such arrogance is a major sin. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “No one will enter Paradise whose heart contains an atom’s weight of arrogance.” [Sahîh Muslim (91)] He also said: “Enjoin each other to what is right and forbid each other what is wrong until you see people succumbing to avarice, following their vain desires, and gripped by worldly passions – each person fully impressed by his own opinion. When that happens, be concerned for yourself and leave off the affairs of the common people.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (3058) and Sunan Abî Dâwûd (4341) and authenticated by Ibn Hibbân (385)]

Ibn `Abbas said: ‘Three traits are fatal: being arrogant, succumbing to greed, and following vain desires.”

The earliest generations of Muslims used to be very wary of self-satisfaction and used to warn each other against it, often by indirect means. Salîm b. Hanzalah relates that he was walking with a group of people who were tagging behind Ubayy b. Ka’b. When `Umar saw this, he raised his staff at him.
`Ubayy said: “`Umar, what are you doing?”
`Umar replied: “It is demeaning for them to be following behind you and it is a trial upon you for you to be followed like that.” [Sunan al-Dârimî (527)]

2. Disputation (Argument): `Abd Allah b. Husayn once said: “Disputation is what leads to anger, and Allah brings shame to the mind that is brought by it to anger.”

Disputation is blameworthy in many ways. For one thing, Islam has prohibited it. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “I can guarantee an abode in the quarter of Paradise especially for those who abandon disputation, even when they are in the right.”
[Sunan Abî Dâwûd (4800)]

3. Jesting ( Joking): We find that people who are prone to cracking a lot of jokes often take things too far. Sometimes they talk utter nonsense. At other times, they say things that really hurt people, then brush it off by saying that they were only joking.

This is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “No one should snatch up something that belongs to someone else – not for real, and not even in fun.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2160) and Sunan Abî Dâwûd (5003)]

The caliph `Umar b. `Abd al-`Aziz said: “Avoid jest, because it brings on what is ugly and incites hatred.” Maymûn b. Mahrân said: “If a conversation opens with jokes, it will end with insults and blows.”

4. Obscene and vulgar speech: Insults and deprecations burn in people’s hearts and incite their anger. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Allah hates the obscene and vulgar.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2003) and authenticated by Ibn Hibbân (5693)]

Al-Ghazâlî astutely observes: “One of the greatest encouragements for anger among the ignorant people is the tendency to describe angry behavior as courage, manliness, self-respect, and noble concern.” [Ihyâ’ `Ulûm al-Dîn (3/173)]

Being wary of the nature of anger and its causes will help us –Allah willing – to avoid falling prey to anger. A feeling of anger is also a common reaction to an assault. The anger is mostly directed at the person who caused the assault or anyone who may have prevented it. Feelings of anger may be stirred up in the presence of people that remind you of the assault.

Sometimes you may find that you are so angry that you want to hit someone or swear; and if you are not used to feeling angry you may not recognize or know how to handle these angry feelings.

Many people also direct the anger towards themselves for something that they did or did not do during the assault. These feelings of anger directed at the self may lead to feelings of blame, guilt, helplessness, and depression. Many people also find that they experience anger and irritability towards those they love the most e.g. family, parents and children.

Sometimes you might lose your temper with the people who are most dear to you. This may be confusing, since you may not understand why you are most angry and irritable with those you care about most. While closeness with others may feel good, it also increases the opportunity for feelings of intimacy, vulnerability, and helplessness. Having those feelings may make you feel angry and irritable because they remind you of the assault.

A sound heart and mind, control of the soul (Nafs), awareness of personal actions and respect for the rights of others will bring internal peace. This, in turn, will influence others through observing verbal and non-verbal actions for peace building and conflict transformation.

Emotions
An emotion is a state of feeling, such as joy, anger; fear, which is centered in the individual’s sense of self. Logic (reason and judgment) is the mechanism that allows us to understand the emotions contained in our values (standards, principles and ethics). “Control your emotions, or it will control you”.

Loss of Control
When people experience an accident, they often feel as if they have no control over their feelings. Sometimes the feelings of loss of control may be so intense that you may feel as if you are going crazy or “losing it.”

Inner peace for world peace

To make people aware of how to control their emotions and because there is one word that makes the difference between, Anger and Danger. It will cover both traditional and Islamic point of view.

God says in the Holy Koran, “It was we who created man, and we know, what suggestions his soul makes to him: for we are nearer to him than (his) jugular vein.” Another injunction of the Holy Koran is, “It was not God who wronged them, but they wronged their own souls”. (30:9 Sura Rom Chapt, 21).

According to the Koran, every human soul has three inclinations. One is the inclination towards doing wrong, evil and sinful acts. This is called Nafs-i-Ammarah (12:53). The other is the inclination towards realization and repentance i.e. to realize immediately if one does something wrong, that what he has done is wrong, and repent of it or rather reproach oneself for it. This is called Nafs-i-Lawwamah (75:2). The third is the inclination towards doing good and righteous deeds. This is called Nafs-i-Mutmainnah (89:27) and also called the soul at peace because satisfaction and peace of mind are the natural outcome of doing good and righteous deeds.

Sow flowers to make a garden bloom around you,
The thorns you sow will prick your own feet.
Arrows shot at others
will return to hit you as they fall.
You yourself will come to teeter on the lip
Of a well dug to undermine another
Rahman Baba

Conflicts exist at home, in the community, workplace, organizations, institutions and in the world.  Conflict is not a bad thing if it leads to fruitful results and if it is approached in a peaceful way with an open mind. If the conflict gets out of control then it becomes disastrous.

Behavioral change is the crux of the issue. It comes with capacity building, awareness raising, and presenting role models as examples to others. In a high context society, the traditions, cultural values, religious injunctions, proverbs and poems, can be an effective method to change behaviors, attitudes and actions of people if they are tactfully used. “A smile is the beginning of peace”. - Mother Teresa

 To understand the various methods of peace building, we must first define what we mean by peace. In the Webster dictionary, peace is defined as the “freedom of war or stopping of war” and an “undisturbed state of mind; absence of mental conflict.”

In order to differentiate between good and evil and to refrain from committing any misdeeds, we must have peace of mind and be mentally sound. If we do not have peace of mind, then we are likely to commit wrong deeds. As Leo Tolstoy rightly said, “The seeds of every crime are in each of us.” Such a seed is nourished if it finds a good environment. The environment is provided by how one is raised by one’s family, community and society. The main reason for any violence is the anger developed inside a person against anyone due to any reason.  That anger further matures due to shame, taunting, worrying about what other will think or say or the honor factor.

Often people who hold a weapon in their hand and are in a state of anger will not kill someone because of the anger but rather because of peer pressure, shame, honor and people expecting them to do it. While in reality if a conflict emerge it should be as quoted, “If a quarrel gets too hot for you, pretend it is a game” (Hausa proverb).

Even if there is just one person within a family or community who suffers from internal conflict, the transformation towards peace for everyone is at risk. The conflict is likely to spread from that one individual to another and then to the community or workplace at large.

It is important to remember that conflicts can be good, bad and confused. Good conflicts need to be utilized in the most effective way to bring peace. Bad conflicts need to be contained. Confused conflicts need to be clarified.  All conflict needs to be transformed.

We should be willing to change our attitudes and behaviors to become better allies for social justice and peace. When people become hopeless about improving their condition, they try to change their way of life either positively or negatively.  Facing a situation brings clarity, strength and transformation as compared to being fearful. An attack on a fearful person, either in jest or truth, will make him respond violently. If we feel we are being attacked, we are more likely to strike first. We need space and connectivity, which are the two main pillars for any internal change.

The behavioral change spiral
There are different stages of change that an individual goes through.

Behavioral change is a process that takes place over time.  It is never a straightforward process; nor is it a single event.  People go through stages before final changes are made, and many things happen after they start to make changes.

For sustainable change, it is most important that both the mind and heart change at the same time. Plato has very rightly said that the greatest mistake physicians make is that they attempt to cure the body without attempting to cure the mind; yet the mind and body are one and should not be treated separately.

Pre-contemplation stage

In the beginning, a person might not realize that change is possible, desirable, or relevant to them.  This stage has been called pre-contemplation.  The person has not begun to contemplate change or the need for change.

Contemplation stage
Later, something happens to prompt the person to start thinking about change -- perhaps watching, hearing or discussing that someone else has made a change.  Maybe something else has changed, resulting in the need for further change.  This stage is contemplation.  The person has started the process of contemplating a change.

 Preparation stage
The next stage is preparation for change.  The person prepares to undertake the change.  This will require gathering information about the change, finding out how to achieve the change, learning what skills are necessary and deciding when the change will take place.  It may include talking with others to assess how they feel about the likely change.  There might be intense feelings associated with the change, and the person might need time to reflect on those feelings.  The person may consider what impact the change might have and who will be affected.  The preparation stage may occur quickly and easily or it may take some time. It has been observed that modern technology has helped make this stage of change more possible, since people have access to quickly and easily learning from videos, CDs and audiocassettes.

Action stage

Eventually the person will change their behavior.  This is called the action stage.  The person is acting on previous decisions, experience, information, new skills and motivations for making the change.  A new behavior has been adopted!

Maintenance stage
Once a new behavior has been adopted, practice is required for the behavior to be consistently maintained.  Maintenance occurs when the behavior has been incorporated into the rest of the person’s life.  It becomes just one of a whole range of behaviors the person undertakes.  Once the behavior is familiar, and occurs without requiring active thinking, it can be said that the behavior has been maintained.

Going through all the stages of change mentioned above requires a strong commitment.  If a person truly wants change in the true sense, he can achieve it. As Gandhi said, “First they will ignore you, then they will make fun of you, then they will fight you and finally you will win.”

Conclusion
For human existence to continue, peace is a priority. To maintain peace among people one should be aware of his/her own rights and at the same time respect the right of others. By doing so each individual fulfills his or her duties; because, otherwise, human rights are meaningless.

In the performance of our duties as humans, the soul plays a vital role. Each human being is motivated by the soul for doing good or bad, based on his/her own inspiration or motivated by others. If, in fulfilling one’s human needs, the person adopts the right ways and means, this will lead to inner satisfaction and pride. This, in turn, will bring outer peace and harmony, as these needs are achieved through legal, ethical, religious and cultural means. The person will also gain respect, a good name and reputation in their family, surroundings and community.

If the needs, however, are met through unfair means, this will bring internal dissatisfaction, which, in turn, leads to interests based on conflict, jealousy and a bad reputation. A person uses both legal and illegal means to gain power and resources.  The use of power and the attempt to gain resources are the two main causes of the violation of a person’s rights and thus conflict.  With power and resources comes a change in language, life style, ways of acting, and also mental, social and psychological behaviors. When the powerful impose these changes on others, this leads to conflict.

To avoid conflict one should control one’s soul, adopt legal means of earning money and perform one’s duties honestly before asking for one’s rights.  In addition, one should always be aware of one’s own rights and respect the rights of others.  Such practices will bring internal peace and this will add to the peace in the family, community, society, country and world.